Everyday lessons: What we can learn from athletes about self-worth
Independent Photo Agency / Alamy Stock Photo. Simon Biles withdrew from the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games to prioritise her mental health.
When Simone Biles pulled out of Olympic events at Tokyo 2020 to prioritise her mental health, it sent a shockwave through the sports world – and sparked a deeper conversation.
It reminded us that what’s going on inside an athlete matters just as much as what they can physically do. Behind every win, loss, or record-breaking performance is a human being trying to stay grounded in who they are.
For athletes, self-worth isn’t a feel-good bonus – it’s the foundation of long-term success and emotional health. But how do they build it? And what happens when it starts to waver?
What exactly is self-worth?
At its core, self-worth is how you see your own value as a person. It’s that deep-down feeling of, “I matter” or “I’m enough,” not because of what you’ve done or how others see you, but simply because you exist. It’s the quiet confidence that you’re still worthy even when you fall short.
How do athletes build that kind of mindset?
Know they’re more than their achievements
Athletes are constantly judged – by the clock, by scores, by fans. So it’s easy to tie their worth to their performance. But the most resilient athletes learn to separate who they are from what they do.
Olympic legend Michael Phelps has been candid about how tough that separation was for him. “I used to hate who I saw in the mirror. The only thing I saw was a swimmer. I never saw myself as a human being.” Over time, that perspective shifted. He later said, “I like to think of myself as a normal person who just has a passion, has a goal and a dream, and goes out and does it.”
Many work with sports psychologists to explore other parts of their identity – hobbies, relationships, values – so when things get rough in their sport, they’re not left wondering who they are.
Focus on the process, not just the prize
Athletes who tie their self-worth to winning are almost setting themselves up for a crash, because few win all the time. The ones who stay grounded tend to focus on what they can control: effort, progress, consistency.
Like a runner celebrating good form in a tough race, or a gymnast being proud of nailing a skill they’ve struggled with. That mindset builds resilience and keeps motivation alive, even during setbacks.
Surround themselves with the right people
Even solo-sport athletes don’t go it alone. Coaches, teammates, friends, family – they all play a role in reminding them they’re valued for who they are, not just what they can do. These relationships can be a lifeline, both in the highs and the lows.
Adam Peaty once said of his coach, Mel Marshall, “She knows me probably better than I know myself.” This deep understanding and support are invaluable, especially during challenging times.
“I like to think of myself as a normal person who just has a passion, has a goal and a dream, and goes out and does it.”
How does self-worth actually affect performance?
Confidence fuels the “zone”
When athletes feel good about themselves, they trust their instincts. That’s when they hit their stride – that elusive “flow state.” But when self-doubt creeps in, hesitation follows. And hesitation can kill performance.
The difference? An athlete with strong self-worth misses a shot, shakes it off, and resets. Someone with low self-worth might spiral, overthink, or freeze.
They’re willing to take risks
Trying new techniques, pushing boundaries – that’s how sport evolves. But risk-taking requires confidence that a mistake won’t wreck your self-image. Research indicates that athletes with higher self-confidence are more willing to try something bold, leading to improved performance and personal growth, because failure doesn’t define them.
Better stress recovery
Here’s where mind and body connect. Athletes who aren’t constantly battling self-doubt tend to have lower stress levels, better sleep, and faster recovery. That adds up over time. As sports psychologist Dr. Jim Taylor emphasises, “Mental health and adaptability enable athletes to bounce back from defeat and enjoy a healthier approach to competition.”
“Mental health and adaptability enable athletes to bounce back from defeat and enjoy a healthier approach to competition.”
But even top athletes have their struggles
Their failures are public
Most of us mess up in private. Athletes? Their bad days happen in front of crowds or cameras. Remember when Serena Williams lost the 2018 US Open final? She went in as the favourite, expecting to claim her 24th Grand Slam title, before facing a shock defeat to Naomi Osaka in a match filled with controversy.
Every emotion, every outburst, every moment of frustration was caught on camera. That kind of visibility makes ordinary mistakes feel massive. The pressure is even higher when the world is watching and analysing every misstep.
They face identity crises
As Phelps’ comments hinted at earlier, athletes often face a tough question: What happens when the thing you’ve dedicated your entire life to – your sport – no longer defines you?
When they can’t compete or stop winning, the loss of that identity can be overwhelming. For many athletes who have tied their self-worth to their performance, that shift can feel like a crisis.
“I used to hate who I saw in the mirror. The only thing I saw was a swimmer. I never saw myself as a human being.”
How they bounce back
They shift perspective
Setbacks are inevitable, but resilient athletes reframe them. That mindset helps them stay future-focused instead of getting stuck. The iconic Michael Jordan once reflected on his numerous missed opportunities, stating, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
They lean on their people
The best athletes know who to turn to – people who see them as more than an athlete. Coaches who separate feedback on performance from personal criticism are especially crucial when confidence is low.
They rest on purpose
Mental recovery is just as important as physical recovery. Whether it’s mindfulness, therapy, journaling, or just unplugging – athletes make time to reset. It’s not laziness; it’s strategy.
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
What does this mean for the rest of us?
These aren’t just lessons for Olympians. They’re everyday tools we can all use:
Detach your identity from your results. Bad day at work? Didn’t hit your goal? That doesn’t make you a failure. It means you’re human.
Celebrate the process. Progress counts. If you’re putting in consistent effort – at the gym, in a relationship, at work – that matters, even if the outcome isn’t perfect yet.
Build your team. Find people who care about you, not your résumé. Those relationships help you stay grounded when life gets messy.
Redefine failure. Missed the mark? Learn from it and keep moving. Failure isn’t the opposite of success – it’s part of the path.
Make space to recover. Rest isn’t weakness. It’s what allows you to keep going without burning out. Give your mind the same care you give your body.
“What I tell people is be the best version of yourself in anything that you do. You don’t have to live anybody else’s story.”
In real life
An athlete’s self-worth shapes not just how high they rise, but how well they hold up through it all. The same goes for everyone. When you invest in how you see yourself – not just what you achieve – you unlock a steadier, more fulfilling way to move through the world.
As four-time NBA champion Steph Curry says, “What I tell people is be the best version of yourself in anything that you do. You don’t have to live anybody else’s story.”
And if it works under stadium lights, in front of thousands of people, it’ll probably work just fine in real life, too.
